1) 2 Aurate Chup chap Baithi Hai.
2) 1 Buddhi Bachpan Me Mar Gayi.
3) Ganja Sardr
4) 2 Sardr Chess Khelte Hue…
2) 1 Buddhi Bachpan Me Mar Gayi.
3) Ganja Sardr
4) 2 Sardr Chess Khelte Hue…
Showing posts with label Famous Hindi Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Famous Hindi Jokes. Show all posts
Comedy Jokes Indian Jokes Only Hindi Jokes
1. What is Common between : Krishna , Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
2. Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your
Daughter
.
3. Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Waha RAM ke Mandir me gaya ,
Ram ne kaha : Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usine
dhundhi thi.
4. A Kid asks the Priest : Father what is your Favourite Pastime.?
The Priest pats the kids head & replies : NUN My Child NUN....!!
5. Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone
Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310
Now it is 6610"
6. Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College ,
Banta : Really, what is he studing,
Santa : No is not studying, they r Studying him.
7. Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai...!!
Chinti Boli, " Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari
umra kabra khodne me hi beet jayeegi..!!"
8. Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale, Santa
agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge Do hi mile the...!!!
9. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse.
He writes a Loveletter to her,
" I LOVE U SISTER."
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
2. Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your
Daughter
.
3. Ek aadmi ki Biwi gum ho gayi, Waha RAM ke Mandir me gaya ,
Ram ne kaha : Baju wale Hanuman Ke Mandir mai ja, Meri bhi usine
dhundhi thi.
4. A Kid asks the Priest : Father what is your Favourite Pastime.?
The Priest pats the kids head & replies : NUN My Child NUN....!!
5. Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone
Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310
Now it is 6610"
6. Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College ,
Banta : Really, what is he studing,
Santa : No is not studying, they r Studying him.
7. Chinti aur Hathi ka Prem Vivah hua. Agle Din Hathi ki Maut ho
gai...!!
Chinti Boli, " Wah Mohabbat, EK din ka pyar hua, ab sari
umra kabra khodne me hi beet jayeegi..!!"
8. Santa Banta ko 3 live bomb mile, Police ko dene chale, Santa
agar koi bomb raste mai Phat jaye to..?
Banta : Jhooth bol denge Do hi mile the...!!!
9. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse.
He writes a Loveletter to her,
" I LOVE U SISTER."
Best Lover! - Spicy Joke
Banta was feeling particularly horny so he went to a call girl on the street and asked, "How much do you charge?"
The call girl said, "500 bucks for the evening."
Banta said, "Well, if I pay you 500 bucks, you will have to do it under my rules."
The call girl said, "That's fine."
So Banta took her home and told her that they would close all the blinds and do it in the pitch dark.
The call girl turned to him and said, "Honey, its your money, so whatever you want is fine."
They had sex, and Banta told her to wait 10 minutes before they were to do it again. Then 10 minutes later, they did it again. After 6 times, he seemed to be getting stronger and stronger.
"Banta, you are the best lover I have ever had," she said.
Then the man said, "Lady, I am not Banta, he is outside selling your A*s to all his friends for 200 bucks a pop."
The call girl said, "500 bucks for the evening."
Banta said, "Well, if I pay you 500 bucks, you will have to do it under my rules."
The call girl said, "That's fine."
So Banta took her home and told her that they would close all the blinds and do it in the pitch dark.
The call girl turned to him and said, "Honey, its your money, so whatever you want is fine."
They had sex, and Banta told her to wait 10 minutes before they were to do it again. Then 10 minutes later, they did it again. After 6 times, he seemed to be getting stronger and stronger.
"Banta, you are the best lover I have ever had," she said.
Then the man said, "Lady, I am not Banta, he is outside selling your A*s to all his friends for 200 bucks a pop."
Top 10 Lies of Girls : Funny Jokes
Top 10 Lies of Girls
1.I Miss You
2.I’m Single
3.Main pehli baar kisi larkay se Baat Kar Rahi Hon
4.Main Cousin se baat kar rahi thi
5.Mujhy TUM Kehna acha Nahi lagta
6.Main Pyar pe Believe Nahi Karti
7.Main doosri Larkion Jesi Nahi
8.Mujhy Kuch nahi pata
9.Sab Larke ek Jese Hotey hain
10.Tum meri zindagi k pehle aur Aakhri larke ho, Main nahi reh paon gi Tumhare bina.
1.I Miss You
2.I’m Single
3.Main pehli baar kisi larkay se Baat Kar Rahi Hon
4.Main Cousin se baat kar rahi thi
5.Mujhy TUM Kehna acha Nahi lagta
6.Main Pyar pe Believe Nahi Karti
7.Main doosri Larkion Jesi Nahi
8.Mujhy Kuch nahi pata
9.Sab Larke ek Jese Hotey hain
10.Tum meri zindagi k pehle aur Aakhri larke ho, Main nahi reh paon gi Tumhare bina.
Why men don't write advice columns?
Why men don't write advice columns?
collection of humor articles?click to Join Us
Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here.
The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.
I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.
I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady .
I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.
I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.
I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs... Lisa
Dear Lisa:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.
If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Walter
collection of humor articles?click to Join Us
Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here.
The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.
I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.
I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady .
I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.
I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.
I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Mrs... Lisa
Dear Lisa:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line.
If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Walter
Hindi Cool Jokes, Unique jokes
नेताओं से भरी एक बस जा रही थी. अचानक बस रोड़ छोड़ कर नीचे खेत में एक
पेड़ से जा टकरायी. एक बुढ़ा किसान जिसका वह खेत था दौड़ता हुआ आया. सब कुछ
देख उसने एक गड्ढा खोदना शुरू किया और फ़िर उसमे नेताओं को दफ़ना दिया.
कुछ दिन बाद स्थानीय प्रशासन को बस के एक्सीडेंट के बारे में पता लगा,
उन्होने किसान से पुछा की सारे नेता कहाँ गये.
किसान ने बताया की उसने सभी को दफ़ना दिया है..
"क्या सभी मर गये थे???" आश्चर्यचकित हो पुछा गया
किसान ने बताया " नही! कुछ कह रहे थे की वो नही मरे, पर आप तो जानते ही
है की ये नेता झुठ कितना बोलते है..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
नर्सरी क्लास में छोटे बच्चों से पुछा गया "भगवान कहाँ है?"
एक बच्चे ने जोर जोर से हाथ हिलाया "मुझे पता है!!"
टीचर ने कहाँ "अच्छा बताओं"
बच्चे ने बताया "हमारे बाथरूम में"
एक पल के लिये टीचर चुप! फ़िर संभलते हुए बोली "तुम्हे कैसे पता?"
बच्चा बोला "रोज सुबह जब पापा उठते है, बाथरूम का दरवाजा पिटते हुए कहते
है - हे भगवान ! तुम अब तक अंदर ही हो!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
चायवाला : भोली सी सुरत, आँखों में मस्ती, दूर खड़ी शरमाये..."आये हाये"
लड़की: काली सी सुरत, हाथों में केतली , दूर खड़ा चिल्लाये, "चाये चाये"!!!
सुरज हुआ मद्धम , चांद जलने लगा, आसमां ये हाय, क्यु पिघलने लगा, मैं
ठहरा रहा ज़मीं चलने लगी, धड़का ये दिल साँस थमने लगी, क्या ये मेर पहला
पहला प्यार है??
अबे बेवकुफ़...ये प्यार नही.. भूकंप है..भाग ले!!!
FUNNY JOKES, Hindi Jokes, Cool Jokes
**************************************
Sonu-Tujhe Sharam Nai Aati Tu Apni Biwi K sath Kapde Dho Raha Tha
Monu-Is Me Sharam Ki Kya Baat Hai..
..Wo B To Roti Pakane Me Meri Help Krti Hai
**************************************
Girl:Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho
Boy:Ha
Girl:To Phir Muje chand, tare,duniya ki sari daulat-khushiya do
Boy:Tera Ashiq Hu Rajnikant Ka Beta nahi;-)
**************************************
Macchar ne 1 admi ko kata.
Admi-Din me bhi kat rhe HO?
Macchar-Kya kru ghr me Maa-Baap Bimar Hai,
bhen Jawan Hai Or Ladke walo Ne 1 litr khoon dahej Me Manga hai...
**************************************
Boy-Mujhe Ek Behad Khubsurat Ladki ki Talash Hai
GIRL-Lo Mai Aa Gyi
BOY-Thik Kiya Ab Use Khojne me Meri Help Karo
**************************************
Sonu Went To International Cooking Contest
When Judges Came Near Him He Was Moving Spoon In Empty Karhai
Judge- Kya Bana Rahe Ho
Sonu- ULLU
**************************************
Bv:Aj Koi Shair Sunao
Pati-Abhi Ni
Bv:Sunao Na
Pati-lo sunO
Jane jigar janeman
90 kilo tera wazan
Tu jo gir jaye mujh pe
Mar jauga mai sanam.
***********************************************************
**************************************
SCOOTER KI TAKKAR, Dosti Jokes, Hindi Jokes
EK BAHUT MOTE AADAMI KO SCOOTER KI HALKI SI TAKKAR LAG GAI.
WAH SCOOTER CHALAK PAR BIGADKAR BOLA –
“KYO BE, THODA-SA BACHKAR NAHI CHAL SAKTA THA?”
“KYA KARU…. PETROL BAHUT MAHENGA HAI….
ITNA LAMBA CHAKKAR KAHA TAK KATATAA?”
SCOOTER CHALAK NE KAHA.
WAH SCOOTER CHALAK PAR BIGADKAR BOLA –
“KYO BE, THODA-SA BACHKAR NAHI CHAL SAKTA THA?”
“KYA KARU…. PETROL BAHUT MAHENGA HAI….
ITNA LAMBA CHAKKAR KAHA TAK KATATAA?”
SCOOTER CHALAK NE KAHA.
Interesting to Know
-Scientists say the higher your IQ the more you dream
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds..
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds..
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
A GUJJU SPESAL !
Q) Why won't the gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A) The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for KESH.
Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
(in case of one)
A) Tomato KETCHUP.
Q) Why did the gujju go to Rome ?
A) He wanted to listen to POPE music.
Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
A) To see BIG BEHN.
Q) What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro STATES
ma gayon" ?
A) Ramesh's son failed in statistics...
Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before
exams ?
A) He wanted to get "cent-par-cent" .
Q) What did the Gujju have in the morning?
A) LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.
Q) What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
A) You are going from BED To VERSE.
Q) Did you know that Gujarati students are going to start a fraternity?
A) They named it Rho Beta Rho.
Q) Why did the gujjus take 50 paise when they went to watch "GANDHI"?
A) They read Atten( 8 annas)-bourough in the credits.
Q) Why did the gujju think Gandhi was acted by a woman in "GANDHI"?
A) They read Ben( behn) Kingsley did the acting.
Husband Wife Jokes Hindi Jokes funny jokes
Wife to Husband : Meri to koi aulad nahi hai isliye
sochti hu ki apni saari jaydad kisi sadhu ko daan kar dungi
Yeh sunkar pati uthkar jane laga
Patni : Tum kaha ja rahe ho?
Pati : Sadhu ban-ne
****************************************
Santa Banta se bola "Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya."
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
maza aata!!!
****************************************
Ek aadmi apne aap me kehta hu ja raha tha ki aisi zindagi se toh maut aachi.
Achanak Yamdoot aa gaya aur bola "Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm hai"
Aadmi : Lo batao, aab insaan mazaak bhi nahi kar sakta hai kya?
****************************************
Wife Saw Sign Board:
Nylon Saree
Rs.8/-
Cotton Saree
Rs.5/-
Banarsi Saree
Rs.10/-
Wife: Give me Rs.500 I'll buy 50 Sarees.
Husband: Andhi! Dhobi ki dukaan hai
Silly and funny!
Silly and funny!
Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a"kela".
Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just "mutter"Ed.
Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: "Aaloo? "
Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the Gobi desert.
Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do "phools" fall in love?
Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I`m a "mota"car.
Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't "unda"-stand.
Q: What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A: "Jhinga" Bells.
Q: What did the half eaten naan say?
A: I wish I was "puri".
Q: What did the lonely potato sing?
A: "Aaloo lonesome tonight?"
Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar-ati.
Q: What do you call an almost bald poet?
A: I-bal.
Dis ij DA funkiest...
Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the other pizza slice so it would move?
A: Pizza - "HUT"
Hindi SMS N Lots of Fun
Internet Per Ladki Pataayi
Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya
Koi na mila
Koi na mila aisa jis pe duniya luta dete
sab ne dhokha diya kis kis ko bhula dete
Dil ka dard dil me dabaye rakha hai
Bayaan kiya hota to mehfil ko rula dete
Apne Hisse ki Jindagi
Apne Hisse Ki Jindagi To Hum Bahut Jee Chuke
Ab To Bas Dhadkano Ka Lihaaj Karta Hai
Khafa hai in duniya walon se
Jo aakhari saans pe bhi aitraj karta hai
Mere tute hue dil ko koi shayari kahe to koi gam nahi
Dard to tab hota hai Jab koi wah wah karta hai
Tum banke
Tum banke dost aise aaye zindagi me
ke hum yeh zamana hi bhool gaye
tumhe yaad aaye na aaye hamari kabhi
par hum toh tumhe bhulana hi bhool gaye
Dosti
Pag pag me phool khile
khushiyan aapko itni mile
kabhi na ho dukhon ka samna
hai aapke liye dosti ki shubh kamana
kitni jaldi
kitni jaldi ye mulakat gujar jati hai
pyaas bujHti nahi barsaat gujar jati hai
apni yaadon se kaho Is kadar na aaya kare
neend aati nahi aur raat guzar jati hai
Apne dil
Apne dil ki baat hum unse keh nahi sakte
Bin kahe bhi jee nahi sakte
Aye khuda aisi takdeer bana
Woh humse khud aakar kahe
"HUM AAPKE BINA REH NAHI SAKTE"
woh dillnashi hamara imtehan
woh dilnashi hamara imtehan kya legi
nazre mili to nazre jhuka legi
use hamari kabr pe diya jalane mat dena yaaro
abhi woh nadan hai kahi apna hath jala legi
kabhi kabhi
Kabhi kabhi dil udas hota hai
halka sa aankho ko ehsas hota hai
chhalakte hai meri aankh se aansu
jab aapke dur hone ka ehsaas hota hai
Duniya me
Duniya mein bahut gham milenge
Sachh maano ache dost kam milenge
Jis modh par sab saath chodh denge
Us mod par intezar karte hum aapko milenge
Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya
Koi na mila
Koi na mila aisa jis pe duniya luta dete
sab ne dhokha diya kis kis ko bhula dete
Dil ka dard dil me dabaye rakha hai
Bayaan kiya hota to mehfil ko rula dete
Apne Hisse ki Jindagi
Apne Hisse Ki Jindagi To Hum Bahut Jee Chuke
Ab To Bas Dhadkano Ka Lihaaj Karta Hai
Khafa hai in duniya walon se
Jo aakhari saans pe bhi aitraj karta hai
Mere tute hue dil ko koi shayari kahe to koi gam nahi
Dard to tab hota hai Jab koi wah wah karta hai
Tum banke
Tum banke dost aise aaye zindagi me
ke hum yeh zamana hi bhool gaye
tumhe yaad aaye na aaye hamari kabhi
par hum toh tumhe bhulana hi bhool gaye
Dosti
Pag pag me phool khile
khushiyan aapko itni mile
kabhi na ho dukhon ka samna
hai aapke liye dosti ki shubh kamana
kitni jaldi
kitni jaldi ye mulakat gujar jati hai
pyaas bujHti nahi barsaat gujar jati hai
apni yaadon se kaho Is kadar na aaya kare
neend aati nahi aur raat guzar jati hai
Apne dil
Apne dil ki baat hum unse keh nahi sakte
Bin kahe bhi jee nahi sakte
Aye khuda aisi takdeer bana
Woh humse khud aakar kahe
"HUM AAPKE BINA REH NAHI SAKTE"
woh dillnashi hamara imtehan
woh dilnashi hamara imtehan kya legi
nazre mili to nazre jhuka legi
use hamari kabr pe diya jalane mat dena yaaro
abhi woh nadan hai kahi apna hath jala legi
kabhi kabhi
Kabhi kabhi dil udas hota hai
halka sa aankho ko ehsas hota hai
chhalakte hai meri aankh se aansu
jab aapke dur hone ka ehsaas hota hai
Duniya me
Duniya mein bahut gham milenge
Sachh maano ache dost kam milenge
Jis modh par sab saath chodh denge
Us mod par intezar karte hum aapko milenge
Poltri Farm Malik
Poltri farm malik ne sub murghiyon se kaha AGAR TUM SAB NE 2, 2 ANDAY NA DIYE To TUM sub KO kat DONGA…
agli subah sAb ne 2, 2 andy diye,
magar 1 ne 1 anda diya…
Malik: TUM NE 1 KY0N DIYA?
us ny kaha: JANAB YE B APK DAR Ki WAJA SE DIYA HAY,
warna me to MURGHA hoñ….:-)
agli subah sAb ne 2, 2 andy diye,
magar 1 ne 1 anda diya…
Malik: TUM NE 1 KY0N DIYA?
us ny kaha: JANAB YE B APK DAR Ki WAJA SE DIYA HAY,
warna me to MURGHA hoñ….:-)
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