Husband- Wife Jokes ..!

1. U love sum1....U marry some1 else.

The1 u marry....becomes ur wife or husband.

N the 1 u loved .....becomes the password of ur mail id

2. There's only 1 perfect child in the world & every mother has it.

There's only 1 perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.

3. Three dreams of a man:

To b as handsome as his mother thinks.

To b as rich as his child believes.

To have as many women as his wife suspects...

4. Husband & wife r like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.

If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

5. Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachun ko karne deinge.

6. What's the diff between Dava & d Daru?

Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date.

Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

7. Wife ko Begum q kehte hain?

qk shadi k bad sare gum to husband ke hisse me ate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jati hay.

An older couple was lying in bed one night.

Old AGE !.....

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck.

"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

Naughty Sms Jokes Good Night Sms Jokes

1. Maine usse ek ishara kiya

Usne salaam likh ke bheja.Maine pucha tumhara naam kya hai?

Usne chand likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha tumhe kya chahiye?

Usne saara aasmaan likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha kab miloge?

Usne qyamat ki sham likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha kis se darte ho?

Usne muhabbat ka anjaam likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha tumhe nafrat kis se hai?

Usne..Mera hi naam likh ke bhejaa…

2. Maine usse ek ishara kiya

Usne salaam likh ke bheja.Maine pucha tumhara naam kya hai?

Usne chand likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha tumhe kya chahiye?

Usne saara aasmaan likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha kab miloge?

Usne qyamat ki sham likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha kis se darte ho?

Usne muhabbat ka anjaam likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha tumhe nafrat kis se hai?

Usne..Mera hi naam likh ke bhejaa…

3. A girl phoned me the other day and said, “Come on over, nobody’s home. “I went over. Nobody was home.

4. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

5. One day I came home early from work. I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, “Hey buddy, why are you doing that?” He said, “Because you came home early.”

6. It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.

7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

8. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

9. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, “Do you think we’ll ever find them?” He said, “I don’t know kid. There’re so many places they can hide.”

10. I went to the doctor because I’d swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

11. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, “How can I get my kite in the air?” He told me to run off a cliff.

Look around… no one here, gonna kill her….

Three answers men are most scared of

1. (Whatever)

Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don’t want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn’t watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything
3. (You decide)

Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don’t want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it… for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let’s have dinner first
Women: Whatever…
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting
(Look around… no one here, gonna kill her….)

75 Year Old

75 Year Old Lady Ne News Paper Me Add Dya
“ZAROORAT-e-RISHTA”
7 Din K Bad Ek Letter Aya “Ama is Umer Mein Rishtey Nahi,
“Farishtey” Atey Hain”