Hindi sms : Mai aisa kyo hu

Kyun khush ho jata hun main
tumhari khushi dekhke
kyon ho jaata hun main hataash
tumhein udaas dekhke?

Chahak sa uthta hun main kyon
jab milne ki baari aati hai
par kyon milne baad ghanto
neend nahi aati hai?

Aankhein band karne se kyun
yaad tumhari aati hain
par jab khulti hain to
kyun phir tu samne aati hain?

Aanso tere tapakte hain
to main kyon sisakta hun
jara si tu hasti hain
toh main kyon nikharta hun?

Jab bhi dekhta hun tumhe
bas yeh sochta hun
pucho tumse ya tumse kahun
rakhun dil mein ye baat ya keh dun?

Sun jara bas itna bata
Main aisa kyon hun
Main aisa kyon hun?

Sign of a Hi-tech Person

Signs Of A Hi-Tech Person
-- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

-- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

--You call your son's beeper to let him know that it is time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"

-- Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

-- You chat several times a day with someone from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.

-- Your daughter just bought a single CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.

-- Your grandmother clogs up your email inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.

-- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.

-- The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

-- You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.

-- Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.

-- You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

-- You've printed this out and are reading it in the "library."

Clever old woman

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding .....


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it ... 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see ... can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior Officer: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Senior Officer: Yes ... could you please open the trunk of your car.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Senior Officer: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Senior Officer: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Anniversary Gift : Funny Marriage Stories, Love Jokes , Husband Wife Jokes

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Dosti Jokes, Hindi Jokes

EK DOST DUSRE DOST SE APANI PATNI KI DHOKHE BAJI KE BARE ME BATATE HUE BOLA- ” MAI KUCHH DINO KE LIYE BAHAR GAYA THA - AUR JAB MAI GHAR AAYA TO MAINE APNI PATNI KO APNE HI DOST KE SATH BADROOM ME DEKHA,



JABKI MAINE USE APNE LAUTNE KA SMS BHI BHEJA THA, TUM HI BATAO, ISE KYA KAHENGE?”

DUSRA DOST BOLA- “YAHI KI SHAYAD USE TUMHARA SMS NAHI MILA.”

Husband Wife Jokes In Hindi Funny Jokes

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."


Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"




Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet,

all ladies suddenly stand up!

Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai,

Betho Betho, Khaday mut ho

Hansna Mana Hai (Hindi Jokes)

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife

se Husband bola:

"Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai."


Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur

Boli "Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti"




After 25 yrs wife said: Do u remember when u proposed me,

I was so overwhelmed I didnt talk for 1 hour

hubby:Yes dear that was happiest hour of my life!




A beggar- 'Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.

Sawa paanch rupya de de..

"Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe

sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai...



Husband:u will never succeed

in making that dog obey u!

Wife:Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,

I had a lot of trouble with u at first...




Husband : (came frm office ) Darling i m tired should

a cup of coffee

Wife: oo sure sweetheart kitchen is besides you

but plz make its strong n ya sugar shud b less..




Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…

Without Information, Fighting Everytime!


WIFE says: No darling , it means :-

With Idiot For Ever

Jokes in hindi

आज्ञा के बिना अन्दर आना मना है। टीचर (क्लास मे पढाते हुए), "बच्चो आयकर, बिक्रीकर, भूमिकर से मिलता झुलता कोइ और शब्द बताओ।"
निशु, "सर, एक नही तीन शब्द सुने, सुनील गावासकर, सचिन तैंदुलकर और दिलीप वेंगसरकर।"
मनु,"डेडी, ज्यादा काबिल कौन है मैं या आप?"
डैडी, " मै, क्योकि मैं एक तो तुम्हारा बाप हुँ, दुसरे उम्र मे भी तुम से बडा हुँ और मेरा तजुर्बा भी तुम से ज्यादा है।"
मनु, "फ़िर तो आप जानते होगें कि अमेरिका की खोज किस ने की थी? "
डैडी, "कोलम्बस ने की थी"
मनु, "कोलम्बस के बाप ने क्यों नही की, उसका तजुर्बा तो कोलम्बस से कही ज्यादा होगी?"
एक छोटा बच्*चा दुसरे बच्*चे से, अगर दिन को सूर्य न निकला तो क्या होगा?
दुसरे बच्*चे ने जवाब दिया, "बिजली का बिल बढ जाएगा।"
टीचर (मिन्नी से), "आज स्कूल मे देर से आने का तुमने क्या बहाना ढूंढा है?"
मिन्नी, "सर आज मै इतनी तेज दौड कर आई कि बहाना सोचने का मौका ही नही मिला।"
मरते समय पति ने अपने पत्नी को सब कुछ सच बताना चाहा । उस ने कहा " मै तुम्हे जीवन भर धोखा देता रहा। सच तो यह है कि दर्जनो औरतों से मेरे नाजायज संबंध थे।"
पत्नी बोली, "मै भी सच बताना चाहूँगी । तुम बीमारी से नही मर रहे मैने तुम्हे धीरे-धीरे असर करने वाला जहर दिया है।"
पत्नी: मैने आज सपनो मे देखा है कि तुम मेरे लिए हीरों का हार लाए हो, इस सपने का क्या मतलब है?
पति: आज शाम को बताऊगा। शाम को पति ने एक पैकेट पत्नी को लाकर दिया। पत्नी ने खुशी-खुशी पैकेट खोला तो उस मे एक किताब निकली । किताब का नाम था, 'सपनो का मतलब' ।
नया सिपाही (इंस्पैक्टर से), "सर ये बिलकुल गलत है कि मैं उस चोर से डर गया था।"
इंस्पैक्टर, "तो तुम उस गाडी के पिछे क्यों छिपे थे?"
नया सिपाही, "जी वह तो मैं कुत्ता देख कर छिपा था ।"
मैनेजर ने आने वाले से पूछा, " क्या तुम्हें पता नही कि आज्ञा के बिना अन्दर आना मना है।"
आने वाला, "जनाब मैं आज्ञा लेने के लिए ही अन्दर आया हूं।"
अध्यापक," बाबर भारत मे कब आया?"
बंटी, "पता नही सर।"
अध्यापक, " बोर्ड पर नही देख सकते, नाम के साथ ही लिखा है।"
बंटी, मैने सोचा, शायद वह उसका फ़ोन नम्बर है।"
एक बहानेबाज कर्मचारी का दादा उस के दफ़तर में जा कर उस के बाँस से बोला, " इस दफ़तर मे सुनिल नाम का व्यक्ति कार्य करता है, मुझे उस से मिलना है, वह मेरा पोता है।"
बाँस ने मुस्करा कर कहा, " मुझे अफ़सोस है, आप देर से आए है, वह आप के आर्थी को कंधा देने के लिए छुट्टी लेकर जा चुका है।"
सेठानी (नौकरानी से), "क्यों महारानी जी आज आने मे इतनी देर क्यों लगा दी?"
नौकरानी, "सेठानी जी मै सीढियों से गिर गई थी।"
सेठानी, "तो क्या उठने मे इतनी देर लगती है।"


लेटेस्ट जोक्स

Shayaro ki Shayari » Shayari sms and Hindi Jokes | Funny Shayari, Cool Shayari, SMS FUN, Funny Pics, Indian Fun

Ek Bachcha Apne Mummy Papa k sath ja raha tha. Road Par do dogs sex kar rahe the. Bachche ne poocha ye kya kar rahe hain??
Papa- Beta Aage wala kuta peeche wale ko sahara de k chal raha hai.
Bachcha - Kitna Ghor Kalyug Aa Gaya, Jise Sahara do Sala wo hi Gaand Maar Jata hai....

Adult Sms, Funny Sms, Jokes, Hindi Sms, Urdu sms, Free short text messages

A lady was shopping in Delhi. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside, goes to the shop and asks in very western accent to our Santa (owner)....

What's the time??
Santa is a very patriotic man and hates English accent while speaking.. So he replies back in the same accent........

Bra-panties!!

Confused the lady asks again.........

No! No! What's the time??

Santa again answers back..........

Bra-panties!! Bra-panties!!

Seeing the confusion going between the two another man comes to the rescue of the lady and says.......

O papaji tusi samajh nahin paaye!! Kudi twade ko time puuch rahii hai gayee!!

Angry Santa shots back at him.........

Tow main bhi to oonoo time hee das rahan hai barah panthis(12:35)

Adult Stories, Naughty Stories, Hindi Jokes, 18+

एक जंगल में सभी मादा पशु अपने पतियों से परेशान होकर जंगल के राजा शेर के पास अपनी शिकायत लेकर जाते है!
सभी लोग अपनी-अपनी शिकायत बताते है-
गदही - महराज मेरा गधा कुछ काम धाम नही करता और बिना बात के मुझे मारता है,रात को मेरे साथ जबरजस्ती सेक्स करता है.
इस प्रकार हथनी ने हाथी के बारे में शिकायत की
बंदरिया ने कहा - महाराज मैं अपने पति से बहुत परेसान हूँ मेरा बन्दर मेरे साथ रोज जबरजस्ती तीन-चार बार सेक्स करता है मना करने पर मारता है!
जंगल में हो रहे मादा पशुओ पर अत्याचार को सुनकर शेर को गुस्सा आ जाता है.
शेर- सभी लोगों को सुचना एक महीने तक सेक्स बंद,सभी लोग अपना लिंग काटकर यहाँ रख कर जाए.और एक महीने बाद आकर ले जायेंगे.
सभी जानवर एक-एक करके अपना लिंग काटते और शेर के पास रखते शेर सभी को एक टोकन देता,गधे को मीडियम टोकन,हाथी को बड़ा टोकन,बन्दर को छोटा टोकन.इस प्रकार सभी जानवर अपना-अपना काटकर रख देते है,और सभी अपने-अपने घर को चले जाते है.
बेचारा बन्दर बिना कुछ खाए-पिए दिन भर जंगल में बैठ कर सोचता रहता है,शाम को बड़े गिरे मन से घर पहुचता है.
बन्दर को देखते ही बंदरिया बड़े खुशी से क्यो आ गए कटाकर?
बन्दर बोला चुप साली एक महिना बितने दे हाथी का टोकन मार के रक्खा हूँ!

Girl Friend Boy Friend Jokes, Adult Jokes, Hindi Jokes

एक लड़का अपनी प्रेमिका के साथ गार्डन मे बेठा था ,सामने एक कुत्ता एक कुतिया को चोद रहा था!
लड़का बोला - जान अगर एतराज़ ना हो तो मैं भी .........................
लड़की बोली - ओके संभल कर करना कहीं कुतिया काट ना ले.................

Hindi Jokes , Free Jokes, Adult Jokes

बेटा - पापा, मैं केसे पैदा हुआ ?
बाप - बेटा मंदिर मे मन्नत मांगी थी !
बेटा - और आप ?
बाप - मैं भी मंदिर मे मन्नत मांगने से !
बेटा - तो क्या हमारे यहाँ चोदने वोदने का रिवाज़ नहीं है क्या ??????

First Night Jokes, Hindi Jokes, Jokes For Adults

सन्ता अपनी गर्ल-फ़्रेन्ड के स्तन चूस रहा था।
लड़की उत्तेजित हो कर बोली- तुम्हें और कुछ नहीं चाहिए?
सन्ता- दूध के साथ दो - तीन बिस्कुट मिल जाते, तो मज़ा आ जाता ! ;-D

First Night Jokes, hindi Jokes, Only Adult Jokes

कमरे में जाते ही दुल्हन अपना ब्लाऊज़ और ब्रा खोलने लगी।
पति बोला- यह क्या कर रही हो?
---
सहेली ने कहा था - जाते ही दूध पिलाना !!!!!!!!!!!

HOW DO DESIS SPEND THEIR TIME IN USA AND THE OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES?

Q How do desis in states have fun ?
A. Read technical books

Q. What do you call it when a desi tries to imitate an American ?
A. Artificial Intelligence

Q. What does a desi's intelligence say to his man-hood ?
A. You are a fictious character.

Q. Why do desis go to a bar ?
A. To stand in a corner and look at the blondes on the sly.

Q. Why is it good to have a desi friend ?
A. You can get your assignments done.

Q. What is a desi's favorite rhyme ?
A. Earn money. look funny. (like a zombie, having spent a lifetime
in the lab)

Q. How do you make a desi's eyes light up ?
A. Wave a dollar bill on his face.

Q. What is a desi's most exciting part of life ?
A. Doing an assignment for a girl.

Q. Why do desis drink a can of beer ?
A. so they could get high.

Q. Why do desis wear underwears ?
A. Because they could have wet dreams.

Q. What do desis do for lovemaking ?
A. Read penthouse.

Q. What do you call a desi between two blondes ?
A. A misfit.

Q. What do you call a desi's brain ?
A. A conundrum.

Q. How does a Professor change a desi's mind ?
A. Offer a RA.

Q. Why do desis like spicy food ?
A. To avoid constipation.

Q. Why do desis wear goggles ?
A. To look at blondes

Q. What do desis mean by fun ?
A. sighting blondes sitting in a car with sun glass doors.

Q. What do you call a desi gathering ?
A. Techinical conference.

Q. When does a desi smile ?
A. After seeing his pay check.

Q. When do desis go to the temple ?
A. Just before the finals week.

Q. Why is Cinemax's (cable) Friday after dark so successful ?
A1. Because, all desis watch it.

Q. Why does warner cable show X rated movies ?
A. Because desi's won't pay otherwise.

Q. Why are blue films made ?
A. So desis know what sex is all about.

Q. Why do desis drown in a swimming pool ?
A. Because they have pot bellies.

Q. What does a desi do on a date ?
A. Bore the hell out of the girl's mind by talking about his
assignments and how he solved the problems.

Q. What is a desi's most exciting night ?
A. Sitting alone in the lab and reading Alt.sex

Q. How can you punish a desi ?
A. Ask him to talk to a girl without offerring to do her assignment.

Q. Why don't desis wish other desis ?
A. Because, they are scared the other might ask for a quarter.

Q. How do you confuse a desi ?
A. Ask him questions about sexuality.

Q. What is the desi's chronic speech impediment ?
A. His accent.

Q. What do you call a desi who says he dated a blonde ?
A. A braggart.

Q. What do you call a desi girl who isn't beautiful yet stupid ?
A. Piddle shit

Q. How do you identify a stupid desi ?
A. Give him some money and see if he doesn't look gratified.

Q. How does one desi confront the other ?
A. By playing chess.

Q. How does a desi measure his perseverance & stamina ?
A. Watch all the X-rated movies shown on a friday night and still
feel no sexual urges.

Q. How does a desi confuse another desi ?
A. Speak with an american accent.

Q. What are desis famous for floating in the swimming pool ?
A. Because of their strikingly prominent tummies.

Q. How do you excite a desi ?
A. Give him a book about the Theory of Relativity.

Q. Why are desis cockeyed ?
A. Because, they never look at a blonde straight.

Q. How do you describe a desi ?
A. A short zombie who looks intimidated.

Q. Who do you call a smart desi ?
A1. One who can drink two cans of beer and still walk straight.

Q. What is a desi's philosophy of life ?
A. Eat, sleep and study.

Q. Why are desis immune to STDs ?
A. Because they never have sex.

Q. Why does a desi buy a condom ?
A. To add to his collector's items.

Q. How does a desi bragg ?
A. Tell fellow desis that a blonde smiled at him.

Q. What is the difference between a priest/nun and a desi ?
A. The latter has no choice but to stay a virgin.

Q. What do you call a stupid desi ?
A. A techinical fault.

Why Computers are Female?

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

Dost ek saahil hai tufaano ke liye,

Dost ek aaina hai armaano ke liye,

Dost ek mehfil hai anjaano ke liye,

Dosti ek khawaahish hai aap jaise dost ko paane ke liye !!

Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,

Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari,

Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,

Ab tumse kya chhupaana,

Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari !

dosti ke naam ko na badnam karo

mere bharose ko na badnam karo,

meri dosti ko apna lena

humse ek baar hath mila lena...

Mushkilo se ghabra ke ab jina nahi chahte,

Dur tum se hoke ab rehna nahi chahte,

Yun to dost bahut bane iss zindagi me

Par aap jaise dost ko khona nahi chahte.

Yahi to khoobsurat dosti ka naata hai,

Jo bina kisi shart ke jiya jaata hai,

Rahe duriyan darmiyan to parwaah nahi,

Dost to harpal dil me basaya jaata hai...