Interesting to Know

-Scientists say the higher your IQ the more you dream
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds..
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

HOW DO DESIS SPEND THEIR TIME IN USA AND THE OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES?

Q How do desis in states have fun ?
A. Read technical books

Q. What do you call it when a desi tries to imitate an American ?
A. Artificial Intelligence

Q. What does a desi's intelligence say to his man-hood ?
A. You are a fictious character.

Q. Why do desis go to a bar ?
A. To stand in a corner and look at the blondes on the sly.

Q. Why is it good to have a desi friend ?
A. You can get your assignments done.

Q. What is a desi's favorite rhyme ?
A. Earn money. look funny. (like a zombie, having spent a lifetime
in the lab)

Q. How do you make a desi's eyes light up ?
A. Wave a dollar bill on his face.

Q. What is a desi's most exciting part of life ?
A. Doing an assignment for a girl.

Q. Why do desis drink a can of beer ?
A. so they could get high.

Q. Why do desis wear underwears ?
A. Because they could have wet dreams.

Q. What do desis do for lovemaking ?
A. Read penthouse.

Q. What do you call a desi between two blondes ?
A. A misfit.

Q. What do you call a desi's brain ?
A. A conundrum.

Q. How does a Professor change a desi's mind ?
A. Offer a RA.

Q. Why do desis like spicy food ?
A. To avoid constipation.

Q. Why do desis wear goggles ?
A. To look at blondes

Q. What do desis mean by fun ?
A. sighting blondes sitting in a car with sun glass doors.

Q. What do you call a desi gathering ?
A. Techinical conference.

Q. When does a desi smile ?
A. After seeing his pay check.

Q. When do desis go to the temple ?
A. Just before the finals week.

Q. Why is Cinemax's (cable) Friday after dark so successful ?
A1. Because, all desis watch it.

Q. Why does warner cable show X rated movies ?
A. Because desi's won't pay otherwise.

Q. Why are blue films made ?
A. So desis know what sex is all about.

Q. Why do desis drown in a swimming pool ?
A. Because they have pot bellies.

Q. What does a desi do on a date ?
A. Bore the hell out of the girl's mind by talking about his
assignments and how he solved the problems.

Q. What is a desi's most exciting night ?
A. Sitting alone in the lab and reading Alt.sex

Q. How can you punish a desi ?
A. Ask him to talk to a girl without offerring to do her assignment.

Q. Why don't desis wish other desis ?
A. Because, they are scared the other might ask for a quarter.

Q. How do you confuse a desi ?
A. Ask him questions about sexuality.

Q. What is the desi's chronic speech impediment ?
A. His accent.

Q. What do you call a desi who says he dated a blonde ?
A. A braggart.

Q. What do you call a desi girl who isn't beautiful yet stupid ?
A. Piddle shit

Q. How do you identify a stupid desi ?
A. Give him some money and see if he doesn't look gratified.

Q. How does one desi confront the other ?
A. By playing chess.

Q. How does a desi measure his perseverance & stamina ?
A. Watch all the X-rated movies shown on a friday night and still
feel no sexual urges.

Q. How does a desi confuse another desi ?
A. Speak with an american accent.

Q. What are desis famous for floating in the swimming pool ?
A. Because of their strikingly prominent tummies.

Q. How do you excite a desi ?
A. Give him a book about the Theory of Relativity.

Q. Why are desis cockeyed ?
A. Because, they never look at a blonde straight.

Q. How do you describe a desi ?
A. A short zombie who looks intimidated.

Q. Who do you call a smart desi ?
A1. One who can drink two cans of beer and still walk straight.

Q. What is a desi's philosophy of life ?
A. Eat, sleep and study.

Q. Why are desis immune to STDs ?
A. Because they never have sex.

Q. Why does a desi buy a condom ?
A. To add to his collector's items.

Q. How does a desi bragg ?
A. Tell fellow desis that a blonde smiled at him.

Q. What is the difference between a priest/nun and a desi ?
A. The latter has no choice but to stay a virgin.

Q. What do you call a stupid desi ?
A. A techinical fault.

Why Computers are Female?

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

Definition of a kiss!!

Definition of a kiss as given by...

Prof. Of Algebra: Kiss Is Infinity Because It’s Two Divided By Nothing

Prof. Of Geometry: Kiss Is The Shortest Distance Between Two Lips

Prof. Of Physics: Kiss Is The Contraction Of Mouth Due To The Expansion Of The Heart

Prof. Of Chemistry: Kiss Is The Reaction Of The Interaction Between Two Hearts

Prof. Of Physiology: Kiss Is The Juxtaposition Of Two Orbicular Is Oris Muscles In The State Of Contraction.

Prof. Of Dentistry: Kiss Is Infections And Antiseptic.

Prof. Of Accountancy: Kiss Is A Credit Because It Is Profitable When Returned

Prof. Of Economics: Kiss Is That Thing For Which The Demand Is Always Higher Than The Supply.

Prof. Of Statistic: Kiss Is An Event Who’s Probability Depends On The Vital Statistics Of 36-24-36.

Prof. Of Philosophy: Kiss Is Persecution For The Child Ecstasy For The Youth And Homage For The Old.

Prof. Of English: Kiss Is A Noun That Is Used As A Conjunction; It Is More Common Then Proper; It Is Spoken In The Plural And It Is Applicable To All.

Prof. Of Architecture: Kiss Is A Process, Which Builds A Solid Bond Between The Two Dynamic Objects.

Prof. Of Comp. Science: What Is A Kiss? It Looks To Be An Undefined Variable

Naughty Funny Stories

Naukrani: "Malkin! Chote Baba Ne Cockroach Kha Lia hai."

Malkin: "Oh God!Call Doctor Fast"

Naukrani: "Aap Tension Na Lo .. Maine Chote Baba Ko BAYGON Pila dia hai."

Pappu Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar

Nikala

Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi

Qun...

Qun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The

Santa-Oye!what R U doing?

Banta-Recording this baby’s voice.

Santa-Why?

Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this

Wife: I hate the beggar who came yesterday!

Husband: Why??

Wife: I gave him food yesterday & today he gifted me a book "How to Cook"!!

Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi

To usne apne baap ki photo kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya

Aur Niche Likha

"COMING SOON"

A man calls his wife through an !dea mobile.

But the call goes to another woman.

They loved & got married.

Moral: an !dea can change ur wife

Wht is similarity between Bill gates n me?

Don't know??

He never comes 2 my house and I never go 2 his house

EGO PROBLEMS U KNOW...

A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client with a note "This Bill is one year old"

He got his bill bak with a note that read"Happy Birthday!"

SANTA:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.

SANTA:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise

ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying

Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver

Ek Aadmi Kabar Pe Baitha Tha ..Musafir Ne Pucha, "Darr Nahi Lagta?"

Aadmi- "Darne Ki Kya Baat Hai , Andar Garmi Lag Rahi Thi Thodi Der Bahar Aa Gaya."

Bin Laden's son was studing in an American school.

Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5 children" He answerd, "KILL ONE"

Waiter gives bill to Santa

Santa: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

Sardar: "So what? U have writen outside

"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED"...

An older couple was lying in bed one night.

Old AGE !.....

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck.

"Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

Kehne ko shabd nahi hai,

Chahe dost kitne bhi kyun na ho.

Apne liye to bas aap hi khas hai !!

Main dosti ka wo daag hu jise tum mita nahi paoge,

guzarish hai apse SURF EXCEL se na dhona

warna dhundte reh jaoge kyoki "Kuch daag achche hote hain"

Gam ke sgar me kabhi doob na jaana,

Raho pe chal ke manzil na paao to tut na jana,

Zindagi me agar kabhi "SMS" aur "DOST" ki kami mehsos ho toh,

Hum zinda hai ye bhool naa jana.

Rishte to sabi anmol Hote Hai

par Ise ahmiyat kuch achhe Log dete Hai

Dilto sabi ko deta Hai khuda

par Isme Jagah kuch aap Jese Dost Hi lete hain !!

Chahne walo kabhi aapna bhi jamana tha

Sara saher kabhi apna bhi diwana tha

Tum to karte ho dosto se dosti

Apna to dushmno se bhi yarana tha !!

Sari umar aankho me 1 sapna yaad rahega,

sadiya beet jayegi wo lamha yaad rahega.

Jane kya bat thi un dosto me,

mehfil bhul jayenge bas wo dostana yaad rahega !!

Ye mausam bhi kitna pyara hai

Karti ye hawaye kuch ishara hai

Zara samjho iske jazbato ko

Ye keh rehi hai kisi dost ne apko dil se pukara hai !!

Hawao ke sath 1 arman bheja hai,

Roshani ke jariye 1 paigam bheja hai,

Fursat mile to kabul kar lena

is nachiz ne Dosti ka Salaam bheja hai !!